can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
