Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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