shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
