I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
