I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
