That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and she was petting her beer can
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he was CRYING into my vagina
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
