the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i believe in u and ur pee
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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