When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
