So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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