There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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