I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
