and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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