the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
