marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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