I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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