the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
