If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
