sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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