then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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