shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Please don't give away my fajitas
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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