let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
