My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
