The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
