Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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