Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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