so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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