Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
