According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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