Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
