woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
