whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
