hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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