My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
