just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
