Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
