yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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