one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize