I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
