I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
