apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
