Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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