Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
