i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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