whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.