Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in