Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum