I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
