If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just pee around me
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize