"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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