I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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