Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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