Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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