just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
