I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
