Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
