This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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