I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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