Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
