If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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