omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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