I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize