In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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