My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
