My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
