it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
